Beginning, Middle or End?

A Guest Post - Too good not to share.    (This "popped up" on my Facebook feed)

Our adoption journey.....my faith journey.....beginning.... middle....end???  

I'm SO glad my Heavenly Father is such a patient teacher, because I'm such a slow learner.

 

Loop

You are Beginning to See

“And though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory” (1 Peter 1:8).

May we start here, my love? May we start with your greatest desire? May we start our time here, together, thinking a bit about how I’ve made you, and whether or not you like what you see? ...

Desire, yearning, awakening to passion, awakening to beginning . . . each occurs when you can let yourself see glimpses of the beauty of you I see. Oh, my daughter, I see you. I like what I see. When I thought of you, I knew who you’d be, this day. I knew the story, and the unfolding, and the journey, and how it has been hard.

I am sorry it has been hard, but trust I don’t leave you here, in a place of desolation, in a place where it is only desert. I don’t leave you here to wander forever. I come and rescue and lead you with my right hand holding you fast. I do not forsake you or refuse healing or turn away when a hand is outstretched. I turn when a full heart, desperate for me, seeks healing, cries out for restoration.
Speak out truth now. Speak it out, even if you don’t yet believe it. I will help you believe. I will help you believe I will rescue you. I will help you believe I am here. I will help you believe, with your whole heart, I am enough.

Where do you place your hope, my love? Where do you run when you are worn out and frazzled? To what do you turn for energy? How do you attempt to find the next plan? Bend low now. See what I see. Quiet your heart and let Me show you what I see. Let Me speak truth into your heart that you may know who you are and know you are not alone and know how I lead you to new, fragrant places. See.
The land ahead is lush and you are cared for. You know how you are carried and valued and delighted in and seen.

You are the beautiful land, plentiful and rich and bountiful. Your heart is full and your life is full and your future is full and you are beginning now. . . You are beginning to see.

Disappointed.....but SO Thankful.

Disappointed

Tuesday's important appointment didn't happen. If there is one thing certain in adoption.....nothing is certain. It's one of those times that we'd rather not discuss the details of how or why. It just didn't happen. :(  Of course we are tremendously disappointed. We are hoping that there maybe a rescheduled appointment next week. We thank you in advance for your heartfelt, committed prayers on our behalf. We do feel them. 

I have a saying, "Adoption is not for wimps!" It is very, very true. When we teach adoption classes we tell folks that they have to approach adoption with "eyes wide open" - knowing that it isn't an easy road to travel, but it is truly a miracle like no other.

Thankful

We are thankful for our God who is still on his throne. We are thankful for so many, many people like YOU that are devoted to praying for our family, Nash, and the adoption to be finalized.

With every other thought, the enemy whispers in my ear: "This adoption is never going to happen,"  "He's never coming home," "This isn't fair" "Why isn't God answering you?"  This is serious spiritual warfare, folks.  John 10:10 says:  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. This thief is working hard to rob me of the truth that I know and to destroy the plans that God has already spoken to me about this adoption so long ago.

Your prayers are so needed. It has been hard to have a thankful heart in the midst of adversity over this long period of struggle, but day by day, we will continue to fight back and be thankful!

No Plan B

No matter how much I struggle to see the good around me in the midst of this storm, God will never give up on me. Therefore, we will never give up this fight to bring our son home! We're following God's model of pursing us with relentless, wreckless, unending love at whatever the cost or pain. There was no plan B for me.  John 14:18 says:  I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.  So there's no Plan B for Nash. It's that simple.  He's coming home. We will continue to rely on God for understanding of what direction to go and His timing and plan, but we know that there is no plan B. :)

It wouldn't be my blog if there wasn't a song or two! They are both just perfect. Song #1 is a current favorite that speaks straight to my soul. Song #2 has been a part of mine and Jeff's lives for over 25 years......it's "our song."  It wasn't a typical love song and we had no idea how MUCH it would make sense for the various storms we have weathered in our lives together. I have no idea if Mr. Corey Hart is a believer or not....but song #1 paired with song #2 =  only a "God thing" if you ask me!  ;+)

Song #1: 
http://youtu.be/lOmkDx2bzic

Song #2
http://youtu.be/Fj60WPUFs1U

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!,

Brooke

A Lesson Twice Learned......Hope restored

 Less than 8 hours after penning the post entitled Heartbroken & Blessed, I woke up and read this devotional verse:

 

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.  Psalm 27:14

***Warning: This post is a little long, but I PROMISE it's worth the news at the end! :)

 

I'll be perfectly honest. My first, raw reaction (especially at 6am) was one of pure frustration and anger!! WAIT??!!!!! Did that just say the word WAIT.....not once, but repeated twice in the same verse, just to make sure I didn't miss it? Are you KIDDING me??? Wait??!! Oh, sure!! I'm an expert at waiting at this point. A real professional. I literally do it like it's my job. :(   And what's that gotten me exactly?? A fat lot of nothing! We have now crossed the 2 year mark on waiting for Nash. We have waited on a foreign government, spelling mistakes, holiday shutdowns, our own government, you name it...I bet we've waited on it!

 

Wow. I know. Pretty ugly. Just keepin' it real, ya'll. That's the actual dialogue that was going on in my head...and let's be honest...between me & God. All before my feet even hit the floor this morning. OUCH! But, before you judge me too harshly.....I read the verse again, prayed and decided that GOD IS GOOD NO MATTER WHAT! Whew. Yikes.

 

Don't get me wrong, I still did not like hearing the word wait....again.....not one little, teensy-tiny bit. It reduced me to a 2 year old in a matter of seconds. But, as I finished my prayers I said, "Ok Lord, I don't understand this. And I don't LIKE this. But I will wait, because you have made it abundantly clear today that I am supposed to."  And just like that I felt a sense of peace....at least enough to get me out of the bed (which is a struggle many days.)

 

15 years ago I started my first big course in waiting when we were struggling with infertility. God taught me so much about who He is, His perfect timing and plan and his faithfulness as he taught me each lesson in the "wait" to become a mom. Looking back now, I wouldn't give back one of the million tears that was shed during that painful season of life. It lead me to the beautiful, perfect plan that he had worked out for me long before mine or any of my children's births. But, in the busyness of just "living" this life, apparently I have forgotten all of those lessons learned. Time for round two I suppose. :)

 

So I'm really glad that I took the time tonight to read ALL of Psalm 27! This is definitely a case where you need to read from the bottom up and get the back story to understand what is going on! I had instant tears streaming down my face as I realized what God was saying to me. Yesterday I had posted that I was Brokenhearted & Blessed because I could feel God closer to me than ever before. That I could feel everyone's prayers working and God's mighty hand fighting the battle on our behalf, even in our greatest feelings of despair and hopelessness.

 

Here's all of Psalm 27: 

Psalm 27

Of David.

¹ The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid?

² When the wicked advance against me
    to devour^[a] me,
it is my enemies and my foes
    who will stumble and fall.
³ Though an army besiege me,
    my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
    even then I will be confident.

⁴ One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple.
⁵ For in the day of trouble
    he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
    and set me high upon a rock.

⁶ Then my head will be exalted
    above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
    I will sing and make music to the Lord.

⁷ Hear my voice when I call, Lord;
    be merciful to me and answer me.
⁸ My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
    Your face, Lord, I will seek.
⁹ Do not hide your face from me,
    do not turn your servant away in anger;
    you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
    God my Savior.
¹⁰ Though my father and mother forsake me,
    the Lord will receive me.
¹¹ Teach me your way, Lord;
    lead me in a straight path
    because of my oppressors.
¹² Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
    for false witnesses rise up against me,
    spouting malicious accusations.

¹³ I remain confident of this:

    I will see the goodness of the Lord

    in the land of the living.

¹⁴ Wait for the Lord;

    be strong and take heart

    and wait for the Lord.

 

 

And of course there is an amazing song that has been on auto-repeat in my mind on my darkest days. I hope it blesses you the way it has me:  http://youtu.be/qOkImV2cJDg

 

Hope restored

 

Soooo........at 10:47am this morning, Jeff sent me a text that read: "Check your email!!" It was from the government officials in Ghana confirming that there will be (hopefully) a final review of our paperwork at the U.S. Embassy NEXT Tuesday!!!!!!!  So please pray for Boat (our power of attorney) and a positive outcome! Wow! My head is still spinning.  I haven't stopped smiling. I was able to tell my children that their years-long prayers are finally being answered. That their brother IS coming home, not one day, but SOON!

 

We are praying for a Christmas miracle....that Nash might be home in time for Christmas! (It's probably a long shot, but we know God can do anything!!)

 

 

Thanks so much for your continued daily prayers! We need them now more than ever!

 

~Brooke

Heartbroken & Blessed

Psalm 34

The Message (MSG)

¹⁸ If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.

 

TENTH AVENUE NORTH

 

"Worn"
I’m Tired I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing
I’ve made mistakes
I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world

And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn

I know I need to lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won’t let up
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn

My prayers are wearing thin
Yeah, I’m worn
Even before the day begins
Yeah, I’m worn
I’ve lost my will to fight
I’m worn
So, heaven come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause all that’s dead inside will be reborn

Though I’m worn
Yeah I’m worn

 

If you don't know the song above by Tenth Avenue North, please take a moment and listen:  http://youtu.be/g7DS1aUV8e8

 

So.....yeah. That pretty much sums it up. It's all over the place.....like me. Worn out. Prayers wearing thin. Pleading with God to show me that the struggle will end. Yet knowing that HE is the one that can give me rest and mend my broken heart.......IF I LET HIM.

 

Blessed......

 

It's a weird mix of feeling: being so "crushed in spirit" and brokenhearted and yet KNOWING that God is with me. Closer than ever. Working all the while on my behalf and more importantly on Nash's behalf. 

 

And SO many of you have helped me feel God's love and power surrounding our family during this struggle. We continue to get more and more people committed to being prayer warriors for our adoption. THANK YOU!

 

We have also had numerous people bless us with financial gifts for puzzle pieces in the past few weeks. Every little blessing adds up......Nash's plane ticket home (around $800) is more than halfway paid for!

 

As always, we cherish your partnership in prayer and are thankful for any blessings we receive.

 

Please click the link if you would like to know more about our Puzzle Piece Prayer Pledge: 

 

http://breezefamilyadoption.blogspot.com/2013/11/puzzle-piece-prayer-pledge-to-bring.html

 

 

Even More Blessings:

 

Of course, these 5 blessings keep me plenty busy while we are anxiously waiting to bring their brother home!  A huge chunk of my heart was left in Ghana with Nash. It will not be fully mended until I hold my boy safely in my arms again. But our all-knowing God has these wonder blessings putting little "band-aids of love" on Mama's heart daily!

 

 They are very excited for Nash to come home and be one of the "Breeze Kids!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 ~Brooke

Puzzle Piece Prayer Pledge to Bring Nash Home!

Partner With Us in Prayer

Long before God brought a child named Isaiah to me in a dream, he brought me scripture after scripture from the book of Isaiah. Please join me in believing this one:

Isaiah 65

²⁴ I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking about their needs,
  I will go ahead and answer their prayers!

At the beginning of our adoption journey, we had a puzzle created (513 pieces) using Nash's picture (below).

We now have a little over 100 pieces left to complete the puzzle and we'd like to have those pieces sponsored by committed prayer warriors! We've been home over 4 months and our paperwork has hit a real standstill. Each day that passes is agonizing being apart from the son that now bears our name.

If you are willing to pray DAILY for our adoption until Nash comes home, please email your name/your family's name to brookeb@fuse.net   We will write your name on the back of one of the puzzle pieces to help complete Nash's puzzle. We also ask that you print one of the pictures from our blog and hang it on your fridge or in your office, etc. to remind you to pray for Nash and all the other children out there waiting for families. Lastly.....spread the word!! We can use all the prayer partners we can get! Please share our story on Facebook, Twitter, email, with anyone that will PRAY without ceasing for our boy to come home!

Previously we did ask folks to prayerful consider sponsoring puzzle pieces (suggested donation is $10 per puzzle piece).  If you wish to bless us with a financial gift in addition to your prayers, we would be very grateful. (We still have 2 plane tickets to Africa to purchase!)

We've made it simple to donate online. Just click on the PayPal button on the top right of this page.  If you would like to mail a check, please email us at brookeb@fuse.net and we'll send you our address.

The completed puzzle will be placed in a "floating" frame so the back of the puzzle can be seen.  This will be a treasure to our son and a lasting reminder of the many wonderful people that helped bring him home!  As we work together as a family to put each sponsored puzzle piece in its place, it will also serve as a reminder of God's faithfulness.  Hopefully by the time the puzzle is complete our precious new son will be home with us!



                                                  

 Nasiru Isaiah Breeze 

To sponsor puzzle pieces, please click on the PayPal button on the top right of this page.  Be sure to leave us a comment or send us an email with the name(s) that you would like printed on the back of each sponsored puzzle piece!                                      



                                   

Things Unfinished.....

This blog. Various home remodeling projects. The laundry. Any sentence I try to utter.

OUR ADOPTION.

These are all things in my life that remain unfinished. The collective result has left me a physically, mentally, and SPIRITUALLY exhausted mess.

I'm really sorry I haven't posted to the blog for so long. In fact, it was the week before we left for Ghana when I last posted. I had intended to post updates from Ghana, but the internet connection was almost non-existent and in hind-sight I understand why.

You see, God worked many miracles when we were in Ghana. We found out 24 hours before we left that our adoption court date had been cancelled. We had to make a decision whether or not we would still get on that plane not knowing if we could complete the mission of adopting our son. Stepping out in faith and with the support of some powerful prayer warriors, we boarded the plane knowing one thing for sure: we would finally be meeting our son! Our forever faithful, always sovereign Lord kept his promise and we not only received a new court date, we were granted a full and final adoption decree!

All that being said, we've now been home over 4 months from Ghana and are waiting, waiting, WAITING to get final clearance to bring Isaiah Nasiru "Nash" home. (For those who are completely confused - we gave Isaiah the nickname "Nash" based on his African name "Nasiru"-- it turns out he LOVES it!) So it looks like we will be naming him Nasiru "Nash" Isaiah Breeze.  :)

We are totally reliant on God to ...."carry this good work to completion" - but we are growing very, very weary in our wait.

One of my favorite old testament stories is from Exodus when Moses had commanded Joshua to fight the army of Amalek. As long as Moses was able to keep his hands up (holding the staff of God), the Israelites had the advantage. But if his hands dropped, then the Amalekites gained advantage in the battle. 

Exodus 17
¹² Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset. ¹³ As a result, Joshua overwhelmed the army of Amalek in battle.

So what does all this mean? God alone can bring victory in any battle we face. Our part is to have humility, faith and complete dependence on God in the midst of incredibly challenging circumstances (hard lessons that I am learning daily.)

The other beautiful truth of these verses is that we need each other. While this might not be the main focus of the verses, I don't believe God put the details in there for just kicks and giggles.  Moses needed his brothers in the Lord to hold up his arms and we need to hold each other up, so that when we are weary in faith, we have the encouragement of brothers and sisters in the Lord who love us enough to encourage us to keep going. This is why God gave us the church.

Friends, we are in the midst of a battle that has left us so weary. We know that God is in control and he WILL bring Nash home to us. But we are asking for you to hold up our arms.

In the next few days I will be sending out a separate Facebook invite entitled "Puzzle Piece Prayer Pledge to Bring Nash  Home."  Our adoption puzzle is yet another thing in life that remains unfinished. Although the fundraising option will still be there, the primary reason for this event will be for individuals to pledge to pray DAILY for our adoption until Nash comes home. We still have around 100 puzzle pieces that we would love to have awesome prayer warriors claim to hold us up in prayer, just as Moses was held up.

When you received the invite, please share it on Facebook, Twitter, email, etc. We would love all the support we can get!

Here are a few of our favorite pictures from our trip to meet Nash. Please print one and put it on your refrigerator so you can pray for us!  

Meeting Nash for the first time!

Flowers at the beach with Mama!

                  Nash's favorite way to ride--on daddy's shoulders!

Our handsome boy!!

A Trip to the Principal's Office

The Principal Needs to See You.....

Some of you know that I'm a teacher. I've had the good fortune of teaching at the same amazing school for the past 5 years where we treat each other like family. No....really. We do. And we've had plenty of reason to do so in just the 5 short years that I've been there. You see, we teach at a school where kids come to us with lots of extra "stuff" going on at home. A lot of our kids don't ask what's for dinner that night, they ask "if" there is any dinner that night. Many of them don't get hugs when they walk through the door, they get yelled at. A school like ours requires very special teachers. Ones that care DEEPLY about children - especially the ones that are rough around the edges. Those are the fine folks I get to got to work with and call "family" each day.

And then there's MY kids. The students I get to teach all day. I am blessed to work with kids whose families come from so many different places from around the world I've lost count. They've come here for a better life. For freedom. For safety. For an education for their children. It's the best job I've ever had. I get to teach children English, knowing that it will change their future (and many times their entire family's future as well.)

So why go on and on about my job on an adoption blog? Because I got called to the principal's office this past week. (I know what you're thinking - this can't be good!) He told me to close the door and then he placed this envelope on his desk in front of me:

Then he said, "The person who is giving this to you wants to remain anonymous. They said they just want to 'pay it forward'."

I opened the envelope to find ten $100 bills. I was instantly flooded with gratitude and began to sob. I mean, who would do this for me? The sacrifice it meant. I don't know if you've check out a teacher's salary lately, but we're still near the bottom of all college grads. :(   It still makes my head spin and tears instantly leap to my eyes even still as I think about one of my hard-working coworkers family members making this level of sacrifice to see to it that a little boy that they haven't even met gets to have a mom.  What this one person has done embodies my favorite verse about caring for orphans.

Hosea 14:3  ....for in you the fatherless find compassion

P.S. I have been delayed in publishing this post because we are CRAZY busy try to pack and make sure our 5 other kids are being taken care of when we leave the country next week-- YIKES!  Anyway, in that short few days, I have had multiple other individuals at school just walk up and say, "This is for your new child, congratulations!"  I was also handed a beautiful card that had been circulated throughout my entire school building. Members of my school family had written such kind words and people had once again contributed so generously to help this little boy come home to his Mama.

I'm so very blessed to have these folks in my life. :)

I haven't had a chance to total it up yet, but I think we may be able to cross off the "Charitable Orphanage Donation" line item!!


Thanks so much for supporting us.  We appreciate your continued prayer for our journey.


~Brooke

Plane tickets for Mother's Day

Wow! Some 500+ days have passed since I first received this sweet picture in my inbox:

 

The subject line read "Isaiah", which was the exact name that God had planted deep in my heart in a dream a few years before. Our sweet boy was 6 then. He is now a very lanky, very handsome 8 year old.

 

It has been a faith-testing journey to bring our son home, but we are in the final stretch! We got the call we've been praying about on May 7th that we finally have a court date! Our plane tickets have been purchased and we will board a plane on May 29th to go spend 3 weeks with our son. We will complete the official adoption and other required paperwork. However, we will have to leave him there and then return home, probably for a couple of months.  Once our U.S. embassy issues his visa, we can go back and pick him up, hopefully by late summer.

 

Sooo......remember that puzzle we've been working on for Isaiah? (If you don't, just click on the Help Bring Isaiah Home page on this blog)

 

We still have 249 pieces of the puzzle available for sponsorship! Our suggest donation amount is $10 per puzzle piece.  Here's the link:

 

http://breezefamilyadoption.blogspot.com/2013/05/puzzle-update-249-pieces-left-to.html

 

To read how we first "found" Isaiah click here: http://breezefamilyadoption.blogspot.com/p/isaiah-is-here.html

 

Above all else, we cherish your continued prayers about our adoption. Thank you so much for your support!

 

Brooke & Jeff

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Puzzle Update! 249 Pieces Left to Complete the Puzzle

We need your help! We leave for our first trip to Ghana in just 17 days! That means we have very limited time to raise a whole lot of travel funds, not to mention $5000 in agency fees that are due before our plane takes off.....

 

There are 249 pieces left to complete Isaiah's puzzle. Please help us get them sponsored! Tell your friends, tell your neighbors, tell your coworkers, share it on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, hang a sign up at work, whatever you are willing to do, we'd appreciate it!  :)

 

Here's what his puzzle looks like now:           Here's what we'd like it to look like when we leave on May 29th:

                          

 

Suggested donation amount per puzzle piece is $10.

 

To read more about how the puzzle works, click here: 

http://breezefamilyadoption.blogspot.com/p/putting-puzzle-together-with-breeze.html

 

To contribute via Paypal click on the Paypal "Donate" icon located on the right side of any of the blog pages. If you would like to mail a check, please send email to brookeb@fuse.net and I will send you the address.

Other ways you can help:

If you wish to make a tax-deductible contribution directly to our adoption agency, the following fees are due BEFORE we leave on May 29th:

Charitable Donation for orphanage - $1,500

Agency Fee #3 - $3,000

Post-Placement Fee - $500   PAID - Thank You for your sponsorships!

 

These donations can be made directly to:

Faith International Adoptions
Attention: Breeze Family Adoption Donation
1105 Tacoma Avenue South
Tacoma, WA 98402

Phone: 253.383.1928 Email: faith@faithadopt.org To read how we first "found" Isaiah click here: http://breezefamilyadoption.blogspot.com/p/isaiah-is-here.html As always, the thing of most value to us is your continued prayers! Thank you so much! Brooke & Jeff

 

With Spring......Comes Hope

 

Psalm 107:28-30 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven

 Dear Friends,

It's been such a long time since I have posted because, quite frankly, it's been too depressing all winter to post anything. :( 

This winter proved to be the longest on history as we waited and waited with very little progression towards our adoption of Isaiah.

While we still felt 100% confident that the Lord had placed the desire to adopt this beautiful little boy on our hearts, the never-ending ache that accompanied waiting to actually meet him truly tested our faith! I tell folks all the time: Adoption is NOT for wimps! It takes all your time, money, emotions, love and faith to get through it. BUT....it is worth every single bit of it!

On to the good news......

As the quote above reads, after winter the promise of spring always returns, and with it comes renewed hope. This could not be more true for us! We are so excited to finally say these words:

WE'RE GOING TO MEET OUR SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God is so amazing & so faithful! We have had so many people praying continuously for our adoption. We are forever grateful to you! Please continue to keep us in your prayers until he is home and tucked safely into his own bed!

We don't know our exact travel dates yet, probably very late May thru mid June. As soon as we have more specific information, we will post more frequently so folks can start to follow us on our journey to finally hold Isaiah in Ghana!

Much love,

Brooke & Jeff