A Lesson Twice Learned......Hope restored

 Less than 8 hours after penning the post entitled Heartbroken & Blessed, I woke up and read this devotional verse:

 

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.  Psalm 27:14

***Warning: This post is a little long, but I PROMISE it's worth the news at the end! :)

 

I'll be perfectly honest. My first, raw reaction (especially at 6am) was one of pure frustration and anger!! WAIT??!!!!! Did that just say the word WAIT.....not once, but repeated twice in the same verse, just to make sure I didn't miss it? Are you KIDDING me??? Wait??!! Oh, sure!! I'm an expert at waiting at this point. A real professional. I literally do it like it's my job. :(   And what's that gotten me exactly?? A fat lot of nothing! We have now crossed the 2 year mark on waiting for Nash. We have waited on a foreign government, spelling mistakes, holiday shutdowns, our own government, you name it...I bet we've waited on it!

 

Wow. I know. Pretty ugly. Just keepin' it real, ya'll. That's the actual dialogue that was going on in my head...and let's be honest...between me & God. All before my feet even hit the floor this morning. OUCH! But, before you judge me too harshly.....I read the verse again, prayed and decided that GOD IS GOOD NO MATTER WHAT! Whew. Yikes.

 

Don't get me wrong, I still did not like hearing the word wait....again.....not one little, teensy-tiny bit. It reduced me to a 2 year old in a matter of seconds. But, as I finished my prayers I said, "Ok Lord, I don't understand this. And I don't LIKE this. But I will wait, because you have made it abundantly clear today that I am supposed to."  And just like that I felt a sense of peace....at least enough to get me out of the bed (which is a struggle many days.)

 

15 years ago I started my first big course in waiting when we were struggling with infertility. God taught me so much about who He is, His perfect timing and plan and his faithfulness as he taught me each lesson in the "wait" to become a mom. Looking back now, I wouldn't give back one of the million tears that was shed during that painful season of life. It lead me to the beautiful, perfect plan that he had worked out for me long before mine or any of my children's births. But, in the busyness of just "living" this life, apparently I have forgotten all of those lessons learned. Time for round two I suppose. :)

 

So I'm really glad that I took the time tonight to read ALL of Psalm 27! This is definitely a case where you need to read from the bottom up and get the back story to understand what is going on! I had instant tears streaming down my face as I realized what God was saying to me. Yesterday I had posted that I was Brokenhearted & Blessed because I could feel God closer to me than ever before. That I could feel everyone's prayers working and God's mighty hand fighting the battle on our behalf, even in our greatest feelings of despair and hopelessness.

 

Here's all of Psalm 27: 

Psalm 27

Of David.

¹ The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid?

² When the wicked advance against me
    to devour^[a] me,
it is my enemies and my foes
    who will stumble and fall.
³ Though an army besiege me,
    my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
    even then I will be confident.

⁴ One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple.
⁵ For in the day of trouble
    he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
    and set me high upon a rock.

⁶ Then my head will be exalted
    above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
    I will sing and make music to the Lord.

⁷ Hear my voice when I call, Lord;
    be merciful to me and answer me.
⁸ My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
    Your face, Lord, I will seek.
⁹ Do not hide your face from me,
    do not turn your servant away in anger;
    you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
    God my Savior.
¹⁰ Though my father and mother forsake me,
    the Lord will receive me.
¹¹ Teach me your way, Lord;
    lead me in a straight path
    because of my oppressors.
¹² Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
    for false witnesses rise up against me,
    spouting malicious accusations.

¹³ I remain confident of this:

    I will see the goodness of the Lord

    in the land of the living.

¹⁴ Wait for the Lord;

    be strong and take heart

    and wait for the Lord.

 

 

And of course there is an amazing song that has been on auto-repeat in my mind on my darkest days. I hope it blesses you the way it has me:  http://youtu.be/qOkImV2cJDg

 

Hope restored

 

Soooo........at 10:47am this morning, Jeff sent me a text that read: "Check your email!!" It was from the government officials in Ghana confirming that there will be (hopefully) a final review of our paperwork at the U.S. Embassy NEXT Tuesday!!!!!!!  So please pray for Boat (our power of attorney) and a positive outcome! Wow! My head is still spinning.  I haven't stopped smiling. I was able to tell my children that their years-long prayers are finally being answered. That their brother IS coming home, not one day, but SOON!

 

We are praying for a Christmas miracle....that Nash might be home in time for Christmas! (It's probably a long shot, but we know God can do anything!!)

 

 

Thanks so much for your continued daily prayers! We need them now more than ever!

 

~Brooke